Teenage Blues

I always knew that parenting would be challenging and teenagers could give you the blues. I never knew that your children could hurt you down to your soul. It can be hard enough rising a son being a single mom but when you are not only up against a rebelling teen but the other parent and their family doing all they can to turn your child against you, that makes things so much harder. The fight to raise a young man is hard enough. Teaching morels and setting boundaries now seems to be a stressful environment and a enough to convenience the child to leave the parent who is creating such and environment. I am fighting to hold on to a relationship with my child while his paternal side continues to convince him life would be better with them.

I know that children take divorce hard and look for one particular parent to blame. So what do you do when you are the parent who ends up being the blame for the break up of the family? I am looking for that answer. I thought after three years we were getting passed that and finally getting on the right road. So here we go again! I must leave it all up to the Lord and continue to be strong.

Hair Management

We know how sista's feel about our hair! If our hair is not looking right it puts a damper on our mood and self -esteem. No matter how distinct our facial features my be, our hair can give us many different looks. That is the beauty of the texture of our hair. Hair for black women mean so different things to so many of us. I read an article Black Women's Hairstyles: It's Not Just About The Hair and was a reality check for me on what hair means to black women past & present. If you have not seen Chris Rock's movie Good Hair you nee to check it out. It left me proud to be perm free.

My family often reminds me that I was bald until I was three years old and when it started growing it seemed like it wouldn't stop. As a teen I love to stay in my hair and I came up with the most creative styles. I never allowed the length of my hair go to my head and  

Ohhhh! I couldn't stand females who acted like they were better cause their hair was long and don't let it be a weave! Those were the worst, cause they were the main ones constantly swinging they hair. (ok! snapping back). Once upon a time I use to get my hair done at the shop every two weeks. I had a great stylist Rhona, no matter how bad I wanted a perm she refused to give me one. She took pride in working with untreated hair and when she was done people would swear I had gotten one. I remember I wanted her to cut my hair into a bob, she thought I was crazy. Well, I wore her down after months she gave me the bob but she refused to cut the back. I loved how it turned out. Since I became a mom I just couldn't afford to go to the shop. Rhona was my last beautician and that was over 12 years ago. Since then have been doing my own hair. That has been  and continues to be a journey. I could not get my hair as straight as she could and when i became so frustrated with the thickness and unmanageable edges I would get depressed I would cry. Then I turned to the all mighty perm, and that was a disaster since I was doing it myself. My hair stared to fall out and I gave up. s

So I have been perm free for about 10 years now. I am grateful for flat Irons and the wrap but I still she frustrated with my hair.

I remember when I had my daughter I went out and started building her collections of hair accessories. I assumed she would have hair like mine. NOT! Not only did it take over three years before I could put pony tails in her hair but she has a total different grade of hair. If you get moisture anywhere near my hair and my du is thru. If she does not have moisture on her's it looks like  her hair hasn't  been combed in a week.  It took me a while to get it together for her too...

Check our our Hair Journal.

Solid Foundations: Structured Family Schedules

I am a single mother of 3 beautiful children. 2 sons, 14 and 6, my daughter is 5 going on 30. Like many women, I juggle family,work and personal life (Ha! tiring to find one). My children are the light of my life and I am always working on becoming a better role model. 

I want to give them a solid foundation so they can be successful in life. I believe children should have structure and positive role models. As parents we are the first influences in their lives and the older they get the more influences they have (whether we like it or not!). We would be crazy to believe that our children will only look to us for guidance, but it all starts with us. 

We lay the foundation of morals, discipline, and structure not by what we say but what we do. Yeah I said it! by WHAT WE DO. Honey..... Know that I am talking to myself too. I am the QUEEN of inconsistency and it truly reflects in my parenting as well.Therefore, I want my kids to do what I say not what I do. My personal struggle with being inconsistent has not only gotten my kids on the same path but allows them to get over in so many ways. (Hey I am working on it, the first step to change is with acceptance :-) )

I really want to have a home with structure. I have set weekly schedules to structure time for studies, chores, family and free time. There are some great online resources I have found. (here is one I really like 5 Easy Steps to a Daily Family Schedule ) Once I check my 14 year old's attitude for thinking he doesn't need a structured schedule like the babies, I have them on track for a WHOLE week or two. The days when life gets the best of me and I come in drained from work, I slack off of ensuring they are sticking to their schedule, and so do they. Then I become frustrated when my household becomes out of order.What do I do then? Fuss at them for not doing what they are suppose too. I know it's a shame, I'm not perfect! Having ADHD my case is a bit more severe but I KNOW I am not alone. 

I realize I have to get it together so i can be the example of what i am tiring to instill in them . My children knows all to well that mommy struggles with being inconsistent. I remind them that although I may slack off with making sure they stick to their schedule, (I realize I have allowed things to get out control) I will reel it back it because it will train them to be responsible and organized adults.

I know the importance of, and how to set a structured schedule for my family. Staying consistent is my struggle but i owe it to my children to always get back on track. Hey! That's another lesson for them to learn, Never Giving Up.

Happy Parenting.....

MyEbonyMind

Welcome to My Ebony Mind.

I have always wanted to create a blog, but I never knew what I would blog about. I don't have a special interest in particular area than another I am so all over the place. So I a decided that I share my thoughts on life and whatever is on my mind.

I am a new blogger so don't expect error free grammar or the best layout. I am just now learning how to use blogger. Boy! Did I make this set-up more complicated than it was. So I hope you will find my blog interesting enough for you to share and keep coming back.

Join me in the journey of my Ebony Mind.....